The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

Baked goods lead to morale boost on LMU sidelines

LMU athlete has been awarded an apple turnover for forcing a turnover.  

It all started in 2017 when the University of Miami football team introduced the Turnover Chain for players to wear on the sidelines after creating takeaways. Since then, turnover celebrations in the college game are becoming increasingly elaborate, props from necklaces to thrones to belts and even pencils. This season, LMU’s football team is taking things to another level with their prop: the Turnover Turnover.

The concept is simple: every time an LMU player records an interception or forces a fumble, a team manager on the sideline will, with the help of an Easy-Bake Oven, quickly assemble and bake a blueberry turnover. The player is then required to eat it as quickly as possible, with the hope being that he can finish the entire thing before the defense has to take the field again. The whole LMU football program is excited about the Turnover Turnover.

“We know we’re pretty late to this trend,” said head coach Mike Elliott. “But we wanted to wait until we had an idea that we knew literally no other team was doing and we believe we’ve accomplished that.”

The Turnover Turnover made its debut last Saturday when junior cornerback Eli Gibson picked off a pass in the second quarter of a 77-0 loss to Southwestern North Dakota State Tech A&M.

“It was cool to be the first person to try it,” Gibson said. “I mean, it didn’t taste very good, but it would have looked really bad if I hadn’t eaten it.”

Of course, eating a pastry mid-game was probably not the best thing to do in the interest of Gibson’s individual success, which he acknowledges.

“I felt sluggish,” he admitted. “It’s probably part of the reason I got burned for a 55-yard touchdown on the next possession.”

However, Elliott was quite quick to dismiss the importance of trivial issues such as defensive performance.

“I’m not worried about it,” he said. “Losing games by 77 points is a small price to pay for your turnover prop being discussed on social media.”

Assistant Sports Editor

Alex Hutton is a junior journalism major from Oakland, California. He is a diehard fan of the Warriors, Giants, 49ers, Sharks, Cal Bears and LMU Lions. He lists getting his plays produced and meeting Paul McCartney as among his current life goals.

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