The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

Campus Jesuits donate to Pope Francis's "Fire with Fire" campaign

When his schedule clears up in Spring, Pope Francis hopes to travel to Brazil in order to burn the trees down himself. 

On Oct. 6, Pope Francis spoke to a crowd of 300 bishops at the Vatican in response to the fires destroying the Amazon rainforests. His primary point was most expressed in the sentence, “Jesus did not come to bring a gentle evening breeze, but to light a fire on the earth." Although the intention of the statement was meant to promote a benevolent movement in regards to protecting the Amazon, the metaphorical message of “fighting fire with fire” was interpreted a little more literally by some members of the church.

In the week following Pope Francis’s statements, a campaign has emerged with many donors, one being our own institution. That’s right, LMU is donating to the “Fight Fire with Fire” campaign.

“I mean, think about it,” says Forest F. Eyer, LMU minister and donator to the campaign. “If we burn down the trees before the Amazon fires gets to them, then the fire won’t spread.” Eyer was recently arrested during his travels to the Amazon rainforest for carrying too much lighter fluid in his luggage.

LMU’s effort to support this campaign has led to consistent funding in the last week, paying for lighter fluid and squirt guns to project said lighter fluid. The funding came largely from on-campus amenities, such as the Lair and the Den.

“Honestly, taking the funding from food was a weird decision,” Vic Tim, a sophomore, said. “But honestly the on campus food can’t get worse so I guess the money’s going to a good cause.”

It is unclear how this will affect the coming school year, whether they add a new study abroad program to Brazil in order to help contribute to the campaign, or finally selling Hannon Library in order to fund the Catholic Church’s newest effort.

We can only hope that LMU’s extensive efforts have a significant payoff, for both the sake of the school and the Amazon rainforests.

The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

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