The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

After a secret meeting of top campus officials regarding LMU’s CASA de la Mateada study abroad program to Argentina, they made a tragic discovery — CASA was no longer making them a million dollar profit each. Deciding it was no longer worth their time, they pulled the program merely days before the students were prepared to set off.

Of course, they blamed the program’s ending on “safety” and decided to send the students off to Mexico, a place with a significantly higher homicide rate than Argentina, according to nationmaster.com.

A few of the students, however, chose not to meet the end of their lives in Mexico, deciding instead to brave Los Angeles and its impending super-earthquake. For those students, this canceled trip has been a blessing in disguise.

Take Lauren Denver, a sophomore Argentinian Studies major. At first it seemed as though the consequences of the cancellation—unemployment, homelessness, a sharp (sharp) increase in the semester’s costs and an inability to take relevant classes—were problematic. Now, she realizes that they were actually the key ingredients to enrich her life.

Take unemployment and an increase in the semester’s costs. It helped her become great at money management. She told the Bluff, “Now, when I want to buy something like food or medicine, I have to stop and think, ‘is this really something I need right now?’ The answer is usually yes, and I can’t afford it anyway — but at least I think about it. I feel like that’s a good money management skill.”

As for homelessness, Denver has once again found the silver lining. “I always had a bed before this,” she said. “I think I got too comfortable. But sleeping out on the L.A. streets with all the people who try to give you drugs and ask if they can escort you back home to your cardboard box, well, it has really put me out of my comfort zone. It’s been a great growth opportunity.”

Despite all this, Denver is still planning on continuing her education, but her major is on hold for the time being. “All the classes that would have fulfilled requirements were full. So, instead, I’m taking the leftovers. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be really good at Organic Chemistry 470. I failed basic chem in high school, but I’ve gotten better at bowling since then, so you never know.”

The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.