The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

Craziest syllabi rules of this semester

Against their will, students salute their supreme professor. That's what it costs to get an A.

After the first week of classes was under students’ belts, Bluff asked them to submit the craziest rules in their class syllabi that professors have sworn they will enforce.

Political science professor Badolf Litler has written saluting into the syllabus under "participation." The students’ beginning-of-class routine includes a chant and a salutation to the political academia regime. Each salutation is worth one point.

Environmental science professor Noneed Togo told his students that if they leave to use the bathroom to not bother coming back. Toilets, he says, are the real reason for climate change and that anyone who uses them is evil.

Women’s and gender studies professor Trisha Cross is requiring that all her students cross-dress during class to help break gender norms. Men who do not arrive in a skirt or a dress and women who do not arrive in baggy jeans and a plaid button-down will not be allowed to attend the lecture for the day.

Philosophical inquiry professor Robert C. Onfused has insisted that students attend office hours throughout the semester to discuss the soul. It seems he just wants students to comfort him that the soul does, in fact, exist.

Marketing professor Grace Fame says she will refuse to let students pass if they do not follow her TikTok. While she vows it is classroom-related, students are not so sure.

Laura Broke, electrical engineering professor has added a project to the syllabus: each student group will be tasked with fixing one broken item. The suspicious part is that the items—a TV, a coffee maker, a laptop, an Apple watch and an electric skateboard—seem to be her own personal property.

Film production professor Lon Ely, a recent divorcée, has assigned students to each make a short film themed around romance advice. Interesting.

And lastly, dozens of professors have decided to allow laptops as long as students only use them for classroom-related activities. Somehow, they believe this will work.

The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

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