Last Friday’s little . . . prank . . . which left SWAT teams searching, helicopters circling and students barricading rooms while calling their families, was awfully perfect. Keepin' spooky season alive by introducing shooter season for a big-time, terribly close-to-home scare is truly somethin' else. Comedically-timed, well-placed, all in good humor… my kudos to the student who put on this whole thing! I mean—kinda weird flex, really showin’ off his guns there—but okay.
Everyone knows that the best kind of humor makes light of real-life scenarios. Jokes, pranks—they’re all just fun little ways to cope. If you’ve never made a Nazi joke to a Jewish person, or a three-fifths joke to a black friend, or an obscene joke to a child, you obviously have no sense of humor. And what I like about this guy who started LMU’s prank? He took it a step further—his joke wasn’t about something in the past: it was about right now! And it wasn’t just words—he got some terrifyingly real action in on it! Tell a joke where a ghost says “boo," or jump out and say it yourself, brandishing a deadly weapon. This guy knew how to get a reaction.
The comedic timing of this prank was absolutely powerful. I mean, other college students were shot in Thousand Oaks only two days earlier. The possibility of it being true was higher than ever. Edgy, sure, yet cleverly placed, clearly demonstrating his bangin’ sense of humor.
And crying wolf in an area where hundreds of freshmen live? Even better. What’s funnier than trauma? Trauma while adjusting to a new home, in the same place you are forced to sleep at night. Man, really got ‘em there!
The whole thing went as smoothly as a morning peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich. Come on— it was so good, they even got Public Safety in on it! Instead of following life-saving protocol (which obviously wouldn’t have been funny), they had P-Safe fail at every single safety measure, just to be a part of the prank. So much funnier when you think the people who are supposed to protect you forgot to. That's the cherry on top of this whole prank situation, if you ask me. Then, they sent out a notification ensuring that the panic could calm, as “after conducting the investigation they determin.” By this point, students were rolling on the floor with the humor of the joke. Or is that not why they were down there?
My personal favorite part of the night was when they they got thousands of students to believe their lives were in real danger. A real big “gotcha!” there! Ever seen a group of girls barricading custodial doors with trash cans? Or stomping on their Habit buzzers, trying to get them to shut up? Or jumping into Foley fountain because bullets travel slower underwater? Or crying uncontrollably? Some of those students are still crying; the joke lives on! If you wanna see a whole load of hilarious things, I guess all you have to do is shout shooter.
Once again, thanks for an unforgettable night. Real funny once I found out that when I saw my family in August, it wasn’t the last time.
The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.