The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.


Cartoon: Camille Bautista | Loyolan

The COVID-19 outbreak has halted all activities on campus, both social and academic. None are more devastated than the LMU Greek life, whose initiation process was interrupted by a disease that has no respect for tradition. Most have been able to continue Greek life through Zoom communication, but one of the most crucial parts of Greek life is missing: weekend ragers. What’s the point of having Monday classes if you can’t show up to them hungover? None. But one fraternity wants to bring back the timely tradition in an unprecedented era of online classes.

The LMU fraternity Kagga Jumani Sigma has been conducting Zoom-centered parties for the past week. In hopes of bringing the school together in this time of isolation, KJS hosts a Zoom meeting every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, sending out the meeting ID on their Instagram account a few hours before the event.

“We really want to bring the school back together in this time of isolation,” said Chad B. Ragin, president of Kagga Jumani Sigma and senior underwater basket weaving major. “Plus, this junior, Derek, said he could beat me at beer pong before all this corona stuff, so now he has no excuse but to play me. What’s he gonna do…go outside?”

Reactions to KJS’s parties range from “wild” to “a little sad to be honest." Many have complained about the $15 Venmo fee for KJS to send you the Zoom meeting password, as well as the 10 p.m. noise curfew for frat members whose parents don’t care that they’re “hanging with the boys." They always say you gotta fight for your right to party, but they leave out the part about an irritated parent during a COVID-19 lockdown shutting down the party.

KJS’s efforts to unite LMU in this time of separation should be admired; at least, they think so. “I mean, we’re keeping things interesting at least,” continued Chad. “What else are you gonna do? Set up mood lighting for your quarantine selfies?” Chad B. Ragin hopes that the University rewards Kagga Jumani Sigma in the fall for their efforts by dropping the accusations leveled at their organization.

Bluff Assistant Editor

I am a screenwriting major from Orange County, California. I am a human who likes to do human things like breathe and drink water.

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