The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

It seems nearly every media company is jumping on the streaming bandwagon: CrabApple, Notflix, EnBeSee, Dismay and more. Streaming is the new wave of Hollywood excellence, so it’s no surprise that LMU has decided to follow suit, producing ridiculous amounts of media for a cheap monthly fee.

Beginning in the spring of 2020, the University will launch LMUTube, a subscription streaming service provider and production company headquartered in the basement of President Limothy Taw Glyder, Ph.D. The service will feature shows and movies “by and for students.”

Some movies tackle difficult topics that college campuses face, such as student debt, assault and shared bathrooms. Junior Jacob Kenmore wrote and directed “Trapped,” a horror film about a group of students getting lost in U-Hall. A group of sophomore marketing majors conceptualized a “House Hunters”-style show where humanities majors are shown lavish penthouses and then confronted with the price.

The service also has a collection of game shows, such as “California Survivor.” The premise revolves around a Californian put in an IHOB in Ohio and asked to find their way home. Production was halted after a young man from Mission Viejo ate gluten, overheated from his long sleeve shirt and was rushed to the hospital.

Of course, no streaming service would be complete without media featuring social commentary. “PolySci” follows the daily lives of wealthy, aspiring politicians. “It’s our take on ‘The Handmaid’s Tale.’ This is what the world could look like if we discourage the 1% from running for public office. Socialized medicine, free college, equality? It’s scary,” said freshman Marcus Windmere.

The hope is that the service prepares students for their professional careers. “We want to foster and encourage creativity and collaboration. It gives theatre students a chance to act, production students a chance to create and business students a chance to profit from their classmate’s labor,” said Snyder.

LMUTube will cost $25 a month, which may seem expensive—but—hey, it’s cheaper than therapy.

The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

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