The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

LMU's Habit Burger revealed to be part-time bed and breakfast

At first, LMU tried to hide the endeavor, claiming “a problem with the boiler” as a reason for their prolonged closure. But a disgruntled employee soon revealed the truth behind the absence.

The employee, who has asked to remain unnamed, was fired after turning on the stove without first removing the bedding that had been placed there to dry after a guest wet the bed, which set off the fire alarm, alerting McKay.

In late September, per the administration's request, the Habit staff tried it out for the first time. Employees placed a mattress topper on the griddle and charged $170 a night for what they called “a secluded getaway in the city of stars.”

“It made sense at first,” said the employee. “We close at 2:30 a.m. and we reopen at 11 a.m. That means we are losing eight-and-a-half hours of potential profit.”

After a successful few weeks of business, it was time to step it up a notch.

“We were making more money from the room than from food,” said the employee. They put three more mattresses in and marketed it as a “hostile.” On Tuesday, Nov. 12, they stopped running the restaurant altogether.

At first, students cracked it up to a broken milkshake machine, or maybe a small grease fire. But after a few days, rumors began to spread. “I heard lots of things — rats, mold, unionization. I didn’t really know what to believe,” said freshman and frequent customer Jack Reed.

Students may have to grow accustomed to going to the lair for their burgers. The Habit bed and breakfast has been a success. With 4.9 stars on yallp, it's one of the best-rated stays in the area. “It’s the cheapest room you can get in the area. Clean and free Wi-Fi!” said a very satisfied customer. “My one complaint? The ice cream machine didn't work.”

The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

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