The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

Making the most of your college budget: Ross-style

LMU student Sav Errr has mastered the art of Tossing. She saves thousands a year by putting her LMU spending to clever work.

We all know LMU isn’t exactly the most affordable place. But, luckily, there are several ways to get the most out of every penny you’re spending.  All credits to Ross Geller, who taught us everything we need to know. 

During all four years at LMU,avoid purchasing salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauce, sugar, honey, milk,creamer, napkins or silverware. It’s all offered for free at the Lair or at the various coffee shops, and therefore an expense you don’t need in your checkbook.

Did you know LMU has a food pantry? Don’t buy a meal plan —just hit them up three times a day.

Not that a meal plan would be necessary, anyway. Follow @freefoodlmu on Instagram and you’ll be well fed in no time.

Textbooks are not needed. Just head to the bookstore, snap some photos of the pages you need and voila.

No need to purchase house supplies. By borrowing cleaning supplies from the Student Housing Area Offices, you can get free vacuum bags (taken out of the vacuum) and free surface cleaner

Ceiling and micro-fridge light bulbs are for your personal use. So are the batteries inside the fire alarm.

Ever in need of screws, nails, nuts, washers or bolts? There are plenty hidden inside dorm desks, chairs, beds and bookshelves. Why buy them when they’re already there?

Take a trip to the library and load up on scratch paper, sticky notes, paper clips and staples. (Yes, you can empty the stapler). If you’re handy enough, you can get lead for pencils and enough paper to amount to an entire notebook. Back-to-school shopping is no more.

Don’t want to pay for printing? Hit up an honors student to print for you — they get it free.

A fun trick: people always drop change near vending machines. Take a peek under the machine if you’re ever looking for a free snack.

If you’re a caffeine junkie, try not to let the habit break your budget. In fact, most resident directors have coffee in their offices that are available for student use.

Take advantage of the free electricity. Ask an engineering student if they can harness some for you to save for later.

L.A. is crawling with models and so is LMU. Rumor has it that they leave piles of hand-me-downs in their residence hall lounges, if you ever want some trendy new clothes. 

Plants can really brighten up dorm rooms and, luckily, they are all over LMU. Dig up as many as you want and replant them inside for a cheap alternative to succulents.

Therapy also comes with the cost of tuition. To make sure you get the most out of it, sign up for seven to eight hours per week.

While this is by no means an exhaustive list, it should get you started. Learning to take what you’re paying for is an important first step to becoming more like Ross. Happy budgeting!

The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

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