There’s a student who runs the LMU Barstool Instagram page. They are shrouded in mystery and represent the collective thoughts of the student body. But what happens to the account when the administrator graduates? A 23-year-old student cannot be the source of the news, sophisticated culture and high quality humor that comes out of that page. To find out more, The Bluff had an interview with the page’s previous admin.
The past owner of the page—which those in the Barstool community call “The Big Cheese”—was not as shy as anticipated. She identified herself as senior communications major Ano Nymous and guided us through the process of passing down the account. “An admin should not hold office more than a year and should never be a senior,” said Nymous. Senior year is reserved for realizing that bro-y humor falls flat on its face outside of college settings and accepting your fleeting youth.” As Nymous goes on, the ritual of passing down the account takes shape.
Four tests must be passed to be considered for the role of The Big Cheese, and they are as follows: identify and objectify girls on campus to feature as the “@smokeshow of the day;" take an already hugely popular, usually dying, meme and loosely relate it to LMU for maximum likes, sit on an upside down barstool for as long as possible and, finally, practice abstinence. This last one may seem a little drastic, but Nymous gave an explanation. “As The Big Cheese, you are a servant to the people. You cannot be distracted by ‘human desires’. It all stems from that episode of Seinfeld when George feels smarter because of abstinence.” In typical Barstool fashion—weeks late to the meme—Nymous giggled to herself as she said, “It’s big brain time.”
A gathering of all The Big Cheeses is arranged to initiate the new Big Cheese. To finalize the passing down of accounts, the new Big Cheese takes a knee before the incumbent Big Cheese and they are knighted with a phone. Then, all of the Old Cheese in attendance spank the new Big Cheese. Everything about Barstool seemed to make more sense after our interview.
The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.