The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

Student Thrown Out over Misunderstanding

Halloween is one of the busiest nights of the year for the police. Watching over trick-or-treaters, keeping the demogorgons at bay and making sure your parent’s parties while you’re at school don’t get out of hand and start another California “wild” fire. This year, though, there was a call even the greyest-haired veteran couldn’t have anticipated.

At around 10:30 p.m. on Halloween night there was a complaint called in from a house near campus and the fuzz was called to sort things out. When the police arrived to the house, the party was just starting and guests were starting to show up. Officer Blackmon was informed by a resident of the house, Dan Geroustopic, that there was an unknown and unwanted guest in the bathroom with an offensive costume and they needed police help to escort the unwelcome guest.

Blackmon, who for clarification is white, knocked on the bathroom door, announced he was an officer of the law and requested entrance. The occupier, who was later identified as Justin Truedough responded, “Dressing up as a cop for Halloween doesn’t make you one. I’m getting ready and I’ll be out in a minute.”

Officer Blackmon then took extreme action and proceeded to force his entry into the bathroom by breaking down the door. What he saw in the bathroom was the cardinal sin of dressing up: Justin Truedough was in blackface. He was immediately grabbed and thrown out of the house by Officer Blackmon while the rest of the party watched.

It wasn’t until Truedough stood up and was able to get a few words out that clarity was gained. “It’s a charcoal mask!” exclaimed Truedough as he removed the Korean face mask. “I’m just giving myself a facial before the party. My mask makes my face oily.” Once Truedough’s face was revealed, the other residents of the house recognized their roommate and apologized to Officer Blackmon for the misunderstanding.

Soon after everything calmed down, Officer Blackmon had a strange realization. No one at the Halloween party was in costume. When he asked what kind of party it was, Geroustopic said “It’s a furry meetup. Halloween is the safest day for us to be in public.” Officer Blackmon arrested everyone present.

The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

Andrew Dazé Senior English Major Bluff Section editor, left handed, cries when inebriated, lover, but can fight

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