The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

T-Pain returns to perform at After Sunset

Fresh off a failed tour, T -Pain returns to his rightuful home on the LMU main stage. 

You can ask all around campus and anyone will tell you that T-Pain’s Fallapalooza performance was their highlight of fall semester. Seriously, Randy Randalman, a senior and self-proclaimed culinary bad boy, who got engaged this semester said T-Pain was more life-changing. If you wanted a second chance to relive the beauty that was T-Pain’s fully auto-tuned performance, say no more. After last minute changes, the performer of critically acclaimed “5 O’Clock” blessed our campus once again to headline LMU’s After Sunset.

Partway through last week’s After Sunset performance, a special guest emerged, one whose entrance was masked in shadow accompanied by his mega-hit “Apple Bottom Jeans." When the lights brightened, revealing the legendary performer, the audience applauded like never before. Students attempting to study in the William H. Hannon Library a few hundred feet away could hear the thundering chants of a very intoxicated crowd, distracting them from asking themselves why they chose to spend their Saturday night at the library.

Speculations have risen within the student community about why T-Pain would want to return for a sequel performance. Money? Desperation? Validation? Maybe not, but it seems like all three are valid reasons. Theorists believe that, after the cancellation of his tour due to lack of ticket purchases, T-Pain is in need of a win.

“Honestly, T-Pain kinda saved the show,” said Chad McRapps, a sophomore and E.D.M. critic. “Every part of After Sunset that wasn’t T-Pain sounded like something a DJ would play at a high school dance, ya feel me?”

T-Pain is expected to start what is being called the “College Tour.” He will soon be performing all along the coast, playing for every university all the way up to the Pacific Northwest.

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