The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.

Bluff: Obama at bball game

Scientists at NASA documented a never-before-seen occurrence that altered space and time as we know it. A man-made event caused the world’s rotation and time to completely cease for a brief moment.

On Feb. 20 the University of North Carolina (UNC) and Duke had their rivalry basketball game. An event with ticket costs only second to the Super Bowl showcased the projected No. 1 overall pick in next year's National Basketball Association (NBA) draft against the No. 3 ranked team in the nation.

Students of Duke camped out for 39 days for the highly coveted tickets to see their hero Zion Williamson restore glory to their name in the likes of a mighty gladiator. The stars aligned that night, both in the sky and in the stands. Obama was sitting courtside and then it happened— in just an instant, the lines that separated college basketball and the rest of the world disappeared.

Williamson dribbled at the top of the three-point line, took a step to the left, then in Michael Jackson fashion hit the floor and did the splits. The lining in his shoe ripped and his entire foot broke out of his shoe. Unfortunately for Williamson, it was not planned and led to a knee injury, but his wardrobe malfunction caused the whole world to experience a second lost in time. International space station sensors detected a massive disturbance in the magnetic field surrounding the Earth. It stopped spinning for a moment, the exact moment Williamson blew through his shoe.

A stunning sequence of events occurred when Obama pointed and could be seen mouthing, “his shoe broke” on TV, then later he tweeted at Williamson, LeBron James also tweeted Williamson, Nike stock sharply dropped in after hours, half of the heads in the stadium exploded and the hopes of every Duke-loving basketball fan died. And that’s just what happened domestically. The changes to the Earth’s magnetic field caused unusual behavior around the globe. Vladmir Putin and Kim Jung Un kissed, and the South American caravan started spinning in circles like broken compasses.

What exactly caused this anomaly is unknown, but Dr. Nik Yee with NASA says they may try to recreate the occurrence.

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